


Love Like Lightning

by dylpickled



Series: Crystal Kindling [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fire Lord Zuko, Mutual Pining, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-07-11 14:31:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15974276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dylpickled/pseuds/dylpickled
Summary: Rumors about the woman traveling with the prince began to swirl through the palace the minute Katara healed Zuko's lightning wound. Now the quickest path to the throne is to walk down the aisle as husband and wife.Sequel to Shot Through the Heart.





	1. The Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> This starts shortly after where Shot Through The Heart left off, so I suggest reading that first for minimum confusion. Sorry if you were hoping for a fluff fic where they're just happily fake married the whole time. Katara has other plans.

    Pretending to be married was easier when your supposed spouse was in a temporary lightning-induced coma. Tending to Zuko as he slept, she knew there were whispers from the nobility about her place in the palace. Those whispers grew to loud, pointed commentary whenever she left her room with the man next in line for the throne. There was no way Katara could have prepared for what it meant to be the real fake-wife of her momentary lover. 

    “They do know I’ll be able to have them banished, right?” Katara asked in a mock whisper as they passed two women in the hall gossiping behind fans with grimaces in the couple’s direction. 

    “Is that how you plan on solving conflict within the palace?” Zuko muttered with a grin as the women hurried off.

    “Well death threats seem so…common,” she answered sarcastically.

    “I’d prefer we keep your death toll to a minimum,” he agreed, clasping her hand in his.

    There was a slight lean in his walk, tugging at her arm with every other step. His grip on her hand was light, but she could tell he was growing tired. Bringing the back of his hand to her lips for a kiss, she repositioned her hand to support his weight better. After a month of healing, it was clear that some effects from Azula’s lightning strike would be lifelong.

    “We should have a cane made for you,” she said, motioning that they should head back to their room. “A big fancy one.”

    “A cane? People would think—“

    “That it’s amazing their leader survived a direct strike from the nation’s most prolific fire bender,” Katara finished with a pointed look. “Suffering for the appearance of strength will only weaken your ability in the long run.”

    “And that’s why I’m marrying you,” he laughed.

    The sentence made Katara’s nerves scream. Their situation was surreal, and she was still coming to terms with their somewhat-arranged marriage. Before Sozin’s Comet, they’d agreed to discuss things once the war was over. But the end of the Agni Kai with Azula threw both of their lives into chaos. Whenever Zuko tried to broach the topic, Katara avoided the core of the issue.

    They were having sex. They were now in line for the throne as a couple. Did it matter how Katara felt about him? For all intents and purposes, they were husband and wife. No one would know the difference if they never addressed their feelings. They were already acting it out either way.

    “You’re really okay with that deadline?” Katara asked quietly. “I mean, it’s one thing to have a…conveniently acquired marriage license from your uncle’s friend. But actually getting married?”

    “You were right when you suggested ruling together,” Zuko shrugged. “You’re an incredible asset to reforming this country. But this is your choice.”

    “I know,” she sighed. “I just wasn’t expecting those fucks to come up with an ultimatum like that. But I want to stay.”

    Two weeks after Zuko regained consciousness, the council made an announcement: Zuko would have a one-year trial on the throne. In that time period, his and Katara’s ability to lead would be carefully watched. If Zuko proved himself fit for the throne, he and Katara would have to marry in an official Fire Nation ceremony before his coronation. If Zuko was found unfit, he and Katara would be banished and another heir would be found.

    “It makes sense though,” he kicked a pebble in his path and watched it bounce along the wooden flooring. “I abandoned the country for you. Eloping and ignoring tradition adds insult to injury. Really I’m marrying the Fire Nation as much as I’m marrying you.”

    “We need to come up with your first movement as Fire Lord still,” she reminded him, avoiding where she knew that conversation would lead. Being reminded how much he was willing to give up for her made Katara squirm.

    “Ugh,” Zuko groaned as they approached their room. “There are so many options. I need something impactful to really set the tone.”

    “Focus on the soldiers,” Katara kicked the door open. “My village is small enough that we can help each other if someone’s only family doesn’t return. In a nation this big, people are going to fall through the cracks. Fuck the council. You need to be there for the people who will soon find out how badly their country has wronged them.”

    The royal bedroom was a world away from the small space they shared in the hours immediately following Zuko’s injury. In the center of the room sat a large bed piled with silks and cushions. The difference in quality made it clear that they were hoping the perpetual discomfort would impact her ability to heal the prince. Conversely, their new room was an extravagant waste of space that filled Katara with guilt. 

    “I know I’ve said it before,” Zuko smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing her body against his. “But it’s really nice to see how much you care about them.”

    “You’re really nice,” Katara looked up at him with eyes that made it hard to breathe. Lifting her heels, she brought her lips to his.

    She didn’t know how to put her feelings into words. Things that should be clear were muddied by the days spent healing him after the duel. Life spiraled out of control, planting a seed of doubt as she worked to help the man she loved secure the throne. In the heart of the Fire Nation, she was a person without origin or history. What did she want for her new life?


	2. Growing Pains

    “A fucking party?” Katara leaned back into her pillows with a groan. “Can’t we just fake sick? I could tell them you got struck by some more lightning!”

    “Yeah, that will really help build their confidence in me,” Zuko laughed from beside her. “I can see them now: ‘well he has some good policies, but the guy’s like a fucking lightning rod.’”

    “I guess you have a point,” she rolled onto her side and pouted at him. “This is some bullshit test, isn’t it?”

    “Probably,” he smiled and brushed her hair out of her face. “A celebration for the return of the prince would be the perfect way to judge his wife.”

    Wife. She tried to disguise the fear building in her stomach by making a dramatic face at Zuko. This would be their first social event together as an official couple. Rather than feeling like some sort of date, it echoed her time spent undercover in the Fire Nation with the Avatar. Outings with Zuko were beginning to feel like another reconnaissance mission. In truth, they were. Now she just happened to be fucking the person she was teaming up with.

    “I’ll ask Tavi for some party etiquette tips later today,” Katara said with a yawn.

    Over the past month Katara had formed a friendship with the young woman who helped her when she first started healing Zuko’s wounds. After the man Tavi worked for died of a heart attack during a full moon, Katara offered her and her sister rooms at the palace. With stakes as high as they were, she was one of the few people Katara trusted within the palace walls.

    “You know we have stylists and stuff,” Zuko offered as he sat up. If it was up to him, he’d spend all day surrounded by silks with a naked Katara in next to him.

    “Yeah but do your ‘stylists and stuff’ relay the nobles’ gossip back to me?” She countered playfully. “Tavi can catch me up on past party scandals and who I need to try the hardest to impress.”

    “Ah, my beautiful tactician,” he beamed as he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into a kiss. 

    One small kiss tuned into a series of deeper kisses. Katara dug her nails into his back as the heat in her chest grew. There was a lot she was uncertain of, but her fiancé’s soft lips still made her toes curl. If marriage meant mornings like this, she was willing to deal with the rest. With a small smile, she looked up at Zuko and bit her lip.

    He was excruciatingly handsome. Hair tickled her face as he hovered over her, eyes watching her lovingly. Craning her neck upward, begging to feel his lips once more, she gave a small grunt when he pulled away from her reach. Instead he teased her lips with his thumb, softly pulling at them and exposing her teeth.

    With a sly smile, Katara stuck out her tongue and took his thumb between her lips. Blue eyes sparkled dangerously as she ran her tongue over his fingertip. His mouth hung open slightly as her confident gaze mesmerized him. Removing his thumb, finally, he cupped her jaw in his hand and leaned in for another kiss.

    “I thought we were getting out of bed,” Katara laughed. She could feel his erection pressed against her exposed stomach.

    “One quick detour,” he muttered, almost slurring his words as he sucked on her neck.  
  


* * *

  
    Their first council meeting was nerve-wracking. Katara gave Zuko’s hand a reassuring squeeze under the table. He squeezed her hand back and gave her a small smile as the members of the council filled the room. The last time Zuko was in a meeting, his father plotted a genocide. If Katara had her way, everyone entering would already be dead.

    “Prince Zuko,” a few muttered with bowed heads as they took their seats.

    Aside from a woman in the back of the room who gave a small nod in her direction, no one acknowledged Katara. Annoyance rising, her eyes skimmed the room. Most kept their eyes fixed on the table in front of them, but a few met her eyes with a deep frown. She was trying to enter this meeting with an open mind, but her mood was slowly reaching critical levels. 

    It felt like she’d put hours of preparation into a dinner party where instead of serving food, a group of strangers sat around an empty table and started at her. Some were almost radiating tangible hatred in her direction. Peeling her hand away from Zuko’s sweaty palm, she subtly loosened the knives she tucked into the fabric of her loose dress.

    “Um okay so,” Zuko’s voice shook as he looked over the room. A dozen pairs of eyes bored through his chest. “Everyone’s here so I’ll start with the first order of business. Um. So you asked me to provide my first action as the future Fire Lord.”

    “It’s okay,” Katara breathed, trying not to move her lips so the council couldn’t see her. She could feel the heat from Zuko’s body as the tension grew.

    “Soldiers will soon be returning home,” Zuko declared, rolling his shoulders back. His confidence grew as he focused on Katara’s presence beside him. “Soon the nation will be flooded with more people than we’ve had since the war began. We need to establish a system for both soldiers and their families as the adjustment period begins. Social services which help prevent the possible strain on our economy.”

    “Our plan—“ Katara joined in, but was interrupted by a man on the left side of the table.

    “Prince Zuko,” he rose from his seat, facing Zuko and ignoring Katara entirely. “Is this really appropriate? She is your wife, but what place does an outsider have at the head of the Fire Nation’s council. I fail to see her relevance.”

    “Darling,” Zuko looked at Katara, eyes glowing with silent rage. “You have the floor.”

    “Tell me, _Governor Han_ ,” she began calmly. The man blanched when he heard his name. The table bore no signs of identification. “When was the last time you left your province? Aside from visiting your favorite tavern late at night when your wife is already asleep.”

    “How dare—“ the man sputtered, opening and closing his mouth like a fish.

    “How dare I?” A smile crept into the corners of Katara’s mouth. “Yes, I suppose you’re right. How dare I, a young foreigner, have more experience than a man who’s spent decades resting on the laurels of a family name.”

    There were gasps among the council as Katara stared the man down. A few people hid their smiles by drinking from their cups of water. Zuko fought to maintain his composure as he felt the energy beside him. They would soon learn the violent wit of the woman he loved.

    “Honestly, _governor_ ,” she continued, “I fail to see your relevance at this table. One of us has an established rapport with leaders of both the Northern Water Tribe and Earth Kingdom. One of us has spent five years living month the people in every major city and has witnessed the contempt held for the Fire Nation. 

    “The _other_ is a pompous old man who earned his title through little more than nepotism and breeding. You are nothing more than an accessory to this council, slinging assumptions from the comfort of undeserving luxury built on the backs of your staff.”

    “Prince Zuko!” The man looked to the throne for sympathy and found none. “Are you going to allow someone marrying into her position to speak like this to a long-time member of the royal council?”

    “Yes,” Zuko smiled. He knew that any attempt at defending her would undermine her power.

    “You would do well to remember,” Katara concluded, “that your approval will not diminish my place on the throne. However, my approval can greatly affect your standings.”

    With a short movement, Katara drew the water from nearby flowers hung on the wall to decorate the meeting. The man flinched as she sent spheres of water to refill the cups of each person seated at the table. 

    “It would be a shame if your prize-winning garden were to be hit with a sudden drought,” she said with a smile that dripped venom. “I hear phoenix orchids need years to blossom, and yours seem quite close.”

    Council members shifted awkwardly in their seats as Zuko looked at each one. Pride welled in his chest as he felt the atmosphere in the room shift. Within the first ten minutes of the meeting, the pair had gone from uncertain newbies to leaders of a nation. Having her seated beside him, no task felt too big.

    “Allow me to formally introduce” Zuko said as he reached for Katara’s hand. Her fingers were shaking uncontrollably. “Katara of the Southern Water Tribe. Daughter of Chief Hakoda. Future Fire Lady. And the only person in this country to defeat my sister in battle.”

    “Lady Katara,” the woman who nodded at her before the meeting stood. Katara gave Zuko’s hand a fearful pinch. “Please excuse Governor Han. His actions do not speak for the council. We welcome you and hope to benefit from your unique perspective.”

    “Thank you, Admiral,” Katara grinned as the woman took her seat once more. Some of the tension began to leave her body. “Before the governor felt his his opinions outweighed mine, I was about to suggest a tiered system of support for those impacted by the war.”

    The meeting continued without further interruptions. A few members of the council used their experience to suggest ways the young couple could improve their plan. Multiple people went the entire meeting without speaking aside from the occasional ‘aye’ or ‘nay’ when voting on a measure. Many were concerned with the cost of Zuko’s plan and paled when Katara suggested monetary contribution from the nobility.  
  


* * *

  
    Council members slowly trickled out of the room as the meeting ended. A few left as quickly as they could manage without being too conspicuous. This time there were nods in both Zuko and Katara’s direction as people rose to leave. They had a lot of work ahead of them, but the meeting was a promising start. Things could have gone worse.

    “How are you feeling?” Zuko asked, reaching out his hand to help Katara up. 

    “Fucking exhausted,” Katara sighed. She gripped his hand tightly as she rose to her feet.

    “You handled it well,” he smiled.

    “Next meeting I guarantee we’ll have a few empty seats,” she looked over the empty table. It was clear some agreed with the governor’s objection but didn’t want to draw attention to their dissent.

    With a sigh, he wrapped his arms around her. She grasped at his shirt with shaking hands and buried her face in his shoulder. The stress of constant scrutiny was exhausting. Traveling with a young, impulsive Avatar brought its own judgement, but this was something else. No one outside of the palace staff seemed happy to have a woman from the Water Tribe so close to the throne.

   “It’s okay Katara,” he whispered. Her body trembled as she began to let out tears of frustration. “We’re doing this together, okay? It’s not just you in a shack healing my fresh wounds any more. You don’t have to be the strong one all the time.”

    “I just don’t want to let you down,” her muffled voice tickled his skin.

    “Hey, look at me for a minute,” he took a small step back and stared into her eyes. The sadness in her face was a look he hadn’t seen since they faced her mother’s killer. “You don’t need to do things for my sake. So much has happened recently, and it’s scary. For both of us. I get that. You don’t have to bottle up all these feelings.”

    “I just need to lay down for a bit,” she sniffed, avoiding Zuko’s gaze.

    Meeting with the council dredged up a lot of feelings. This was real now. There was no way to take back her decision. Agreeing to a plan and seeing it through were two different things. Marrying Zuko meant never being able to leave this life behind.

    Watching Zuko as they walked back to their room in silence, Katara knew how she felt about him. If he’d proposed marriage of his own volition somewhere in the distant future, she would have said yes. Their chemistry was undeniable. But Zuko was right. They were marrying the country as well as each other. The idea made Katara nervous.

    For the past five years, she’d been babysitting the Avatar and her brother as they traveled the world. Instead of taking a break, she’d impulsively plunged herself into the middle of Zuko’s struggle to take the throne. There were no regrets about doing what she needed to keep him safe, but she was starting to wonder if she bit off more than she could chew. If she was losing herself to the persona she created.  
    

* * *

  
    Sitting in the tub of water, Katara realized how much she missed simple things like bathing in a private room. There were a few hours left before the homecoming celebration for her and Zuko, and she would be spending most of that time preparing. Things had settled down since the first dramatic council meeting, but she was still on edge. Her popularity among the nobles had only improved in that now most were indifferent to her presence.

    “You know I can braid my own hair,” Katara sighed. Tavi was insistent upon helping her, but Katara was uncomfortable having her friend wait on her like a servant.

    “Shush and enjoy the bath,” Tavi laughed. “I _like_ styling people. Intricate braids and flowing gowns. Those fucks are gonna remember you.”

    “In the South we have this story about seals who can turn into women,” Katara said as her friend continued braiding. “For a few hours during the full moon, they shed their skins. So this one seal falls in love with a man and decides to shed her coat to sneak into a party. She’s beautiful and everyone loves her, blah blah blah. But when it’s time to leave, the man she loves sees her reaching for her seal skin coat and takes it from her.

    “Locking it away in a chest, he says he’ll give it to her if she marries him. Defeated and desperate, the woman agrees. But instead he hides the key and insists he loves her too much to let her go. Now trapped in her human body, she flings herself into the ocean because she’d rather be dead than lose herself to the man she thought she loved.”

    The room filled with silence as the meaning of her story sank in. She hadn’t meant to sound morbid. Tavi’s comment just reminded her of the saying ‘a seal among women’. However, halfway through the story dread began to set in. Suddenly the steam rising from the bath felt heavy and suffocating.

    “On my island we have stories of mud men,” Tavi said in a serious tone. “They mimic your lover, then steal your soul during sex. Suckin’ your essence up right through their mud dick or whatever.”

    “Okay but can you like mold their clay genitals?” Katara laughed, mood lifting. “Coz that sounds hot. Build your own fuck toy, but you can only use it once.”

    “I guess it just depends on how badly you need to get laid,” she shrugged from behind Katara. 

    “Dammit Tavi,” Katara’s hand splashed in the water. “I’m about to go to some super stuffy party and now you have me sitting here wondering if my earth bending friend could make me a fuckable mud mannequin.”

    “If she does, tell her I have a few requests.” Her joking tone was replaced with sincerity. “Really though, it will be fine.”

    “I hope so.”

    It wasn’t Zuko’s fault she was there. Katara knew that. But she couldn’t help notice the strain working together was putting on their pseudo-relationship. This was time they should be spending getting to know each other without the threat of war. Everything was happening in reverse. The pace her life moved at was beginning to unnerve her.

    Sighing, she rose from the bath when Tavi finished weaving braids into delicate flowers. The soft robe enveloping her body contrasted the emotions she felt. She would put on a friendly face for the night, but she would much rather spend the night sitting alone in a dark room. Everyone and everything was beginning to tire her out. 

    Delicate brush strokes tinted her lips and outlined her eyes. There were a few moments Tavi had to remind her to relax her face because she was chewing her lip or wrinkling her brow. Anxiety rose in Katara’s chest as time passed. She felt like a circus performer about to step out on stage.

    “This is pointless,” her voice shook when they spoke. “Tavi, I don’t want to do this. Everyone’s gonna treat me like a spectacle. Like the Earth King’s bear on parade through dinner.”

    “I have no idea what that last part means,” her friend sighed. “But you look great. Maybe this will help them understand you, huh? Up until now you’ve been a concept. Now’s your chance to dazzle them.”

    Katara took a deep breath and nodded reluctantly. No matter how she felt, she had to go. There was no room for a scandal after only two months at Zuko’s side. For better or for worse, this was where she had to be.


	3. A Seal Among Dragons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara leaves a lasting impression at her first fancy Fire Nation event

   The soft fabric of her dress wasn’t enough to comfort Katara’s rising panic. Silk scratched against her skin like a grain sack. Beautiful braids tugged at her hair like unwashed mats. Long, trailing sleeves pulled her wrists down like shackles.  


    Opening the bathroom door, she braced herself for Zuko’s reaction. His silhouette was backlit by the sun setting through their windows. Eyes fixed on the floor, she gritted her teeth as she stepped into the room. Shaking legs threatened to betray her as she waited for her fiancé’s reaction.  


    “You’re gorgeous,” Zuko beamed.  


    His mouth hung open in a smile as he looked at her. There was no mistaking his silent reverence. It was the same look he gave her when he saw her blood bend for the first time. The look on his face made her want to cry. Her chest ached as she tried to catch her breath.  


    “I’m afraid,” she responded, chewing on her lip as she spoke.  


    “I’ve already puked once,” Zuko laughed. “It’s fucking terrifying. Our first social event as a couple. But we can do this. Together.”  
 

   Together. Katara’s eyes focused on the window behind him. As much as they were on the same team, it felt like there was so much he didn’t understand. He was on a ship miles away from her shore. Tonight would be a test in more than one way.  
 

* * *

  
 

   Their walk to the ballroom passed in a daze. Footsteps against the wood floors sounded miles away. Although she was nodding and responding to people who passed, she had no idea what anyone was saying. Her mouth moved on its own, making noises foreign to her. They were suddenly standing at the doors, though she didn’t recall taking more than a few steps. She fought down rising nausea as the party staff reached for the door handles.  
 

   The smell of the buffet brought Katara back to the world around her. As the door swung open, a thousand flavors approached her nostrils. Some nearby dishes looked familiar from her time spent traveling with the Avatar. At the center of the table sat a glazed pig adorned with carved fruits and vegetables.  


    “Fire Nation parties are very…food-oriented,” Zuko said as they entered. He watched Katara take in the explosion of red and gold that enveloped the room.  


    Small tears threatened to emerge from her eyes as she realized how alone she was. Gran Gran’s cooking was nowhere to be found among the luxurious dishes. The room was filled with chatter, but without the bursts of conversation from her friends. Sokka would have loved the food. Toph would have hated the formality. And Aang…  


    Guilt crept into the fog of her panic. Aang would have made everything worse. She stared at the beautifully decorated pig. Even now, as much as she missed her home, she hardly gave a thought to the boy she’d abandoned. Without so much as a warning, she’d completely dropped out of his life. And she almost didn’t care how it hurt him.  


    Was she selfish for wanting something that was her own? Her palm slid against Zuko’s as she reached for a feeling of security. Warmth crept into her body. A faint happiness threatening to break through all the fear and stress of her new life. For the first time in years, she would be known as her own person.  


    A doorman announced their entrance, drawing all attention in the couple’s direction. The room fell silent, as if they’d interrupted a private event. They walked toward their thrones at the center of the room hand in hand. Zuko could feel her trembling increase as they moved deeper into the crowd. Both of them were on edge.  


    Halfway to their seats, Katara noticed a nervous-looking man at the edge of the crowd. Brow heavy with sweat. Lips trembling. His body language was tense, even for a party as stuffy as this. Eyes darting downward, he reached into his robe. A flash of metal made her heart stop.  


    Moving before the surrounding guards could react, Katara pulled Zuko behind her. A tendril of water emerged from the pouch in her billowing sleeve, wrapping itself around the man’s wrist. He kicked desperately as she dragged him across the floor. Tension rose as her audience watched.  


    Kneeling, Katara reached into the folds of his robe. A throwing knife sat nestled in an interior pocket. Anger rose as she considered the blade. Her eyes met with the man sprawled on the ground before her. A fearful gaze watched her movements.  


    Considering her lover’s would-be assassin, the rest of the room faded from sight. Fear of the nobility was no longer a concern. After fighting Azula and keeping Zuko from the brink of death, this man threatened to ruin all her hard work. The silver of the knife shone in her hands.  


    “Huh,” her mouth twisted into a sadistic smile.  


    It happened in an instant. The blade spinning between her fingers. A dull thud as it buried itself in the floor beneath the man’s hand. She maintained eye contact with him as her actions set in. Low and pitiful, a shriek erupted from the failed assassin. He reflexively jerked his hand back, but it was pinned to the wooden flooring. The movement drew further blood.  


    With the elegance of a noble being helped down from a carriage, she rose to her feet. The long train of her sleeve dragged across the pool of blood, painting the floor with streaks of crimson. A small smirk hid in the corners of Katara’s mouth when she noted how the deep red added to the party’s color scheme.  


    Zuko looked between Katara and the man writhing on the floor. This was the woman he planned to marry. A nervous murmur rose from the crowd. Multiple members of the nobility fainted from shock.  


    “Where are the guards?” He demanded, hoping the show of anger would draw attention away from Katara. “Why did no one else notice this?”  


    A large hand on his shoulder alerted him to Iroh’s presence. His uncle looked in Katara’s direction, then toward the door. Zuko nodded and grabbed his fiancé’s hand, pulling her attention away from the man at her feet. Silently, the three slipped out of the room as it exploded into action.  
  


* * *

  


    Footsteps echoed across empty hallways as they escaped into the night. Katara walked ahead of the two men, desperate to be alone. Panic spilled into her thoughts. This was the nation’s first impression of their future queen. Zuko’s first impression of her among his people. And she set the tone by pinning a man’s hand to the floor.  


    It was a shame the knife was so sharp, Katara thought as she walked. A duller blade would have torn through his skin, causing additional pain. Clean slices from a sharp knife caused less traumatic damage. She made a mental note to commission a set of knives at some point.  


    Secretly, she was relieved. Committing a massive social faux pas —like stabbing a man at your welcome party— was almost easier. The mistake was direct and to the point. She hadn’t insulted an ambassador or horrified guess with poor table manners. Small mistakes can fester; large mistakes shove all problems into the light at once.  


    “We’ll talk about this tomorrow,” Zuko whispered to his uncle as they approached the bedroom door.  


    “Be kind with her,” Iroh offered before turning to leave. “She has much more at stake.”  


    The bedroom door shut behind them with a loud click. Katara flinched at the noise, adrenaline still high after the events that night. With soft steps, she approached her dressing table and looked in the mirror. The sight hurt. She almost didn’t recognize herself.  


    Fingertips plucked at the hem of her sleeve. This was a costume. A beautiful, but elaborate costume. She appreciated Tavi’s efforts, but she looked like a human warship. Fire Nation clothing seemed aggressive and angular compared to her soft furs.  


    She pulled helplessly at the corset imprisoning her torso. The shape it gave her was lovely, but she had no idea how she was supposed to remove it. This culture's fashion was reliant on a fleet of handmaidens.  


    “Want me to help?” Zuko asked softly, approaching from behind. His hands rested gingerly on her waist.  


    “Please,” Katara gave a dry laugh. “Everything’s so intricate. I’m all tied up. Like a…”  


    _Prisoner_. The sentence trailed off. She didn’t want Zuko to feel like this was his fault. After years of dealing with her brother and Aang, Katara was used to hiding her frustrations. It was easier than trying to explain problems to people who didn’t understand.  


    “I heard you talking to Tavi while you were getting ready,” Zuko said, reaching for the laces of her corset. There was a small amount of pain in his voice.  
 

   “Oh?” Katara tried to find a comfortable position as Zuko grappled with her clothes. “Which part?”  


    “That story…” Nimble fingers loosened the bottom of her prison, allowing her to breathe easier. “Is that really how you feel? I thought you wanted to be here. With me.”  


    “Look at how tonight went,” she sighed. Face fixed downward, she avoided looking at the mirror in front of her for fear of catching his eyes. “I’m a seal among dragons. Without my coat.”  


    “Tonight was…” he stepped back as he finished the last of her laces. The outer layer of her dress slid to the floor.  


    “It was a mess,” Katara finished. She felt vulnerable and exposed without the hard outer casing to protect her.  


    Looking in the mirror, she felt ridiculous. Menacing shoulder spikes contrasted with the light fabric of her silk slip. The long sleeves attached to her shoulder apparatus reminded her of Mai. _This was what Mai would look like in my place_.  


    “If you turn around I can help with the shoulders,” Zuko offered, lightly kissing the back of her exposed neck.  


    Reluctantly, Katara faced him. This was the first time she’d looked at him since before the party. It made everything in her body ache. They weren’t a happy couple returning from a draining event; they were two people in on the same con.  


    The seriousness on his face drove shards of ice deep into her heart. Her lack of communication was causing confusion. Something was clearly wrong, but her refusal to explain was only adding to his stress. He looked so much older than before they landed in this country.  


    “I almost lost you again,” Katara muttered, looking up at him.  


    “The world is full of things that almost happened." He brought his hand to her cheek, dragging his thumb across her lower lip.  


    “Stop it,” she turned her head away from his touch.  


    “What?” The sudden aggression in her tone threw him off.  


    “Just get me out of this fucking ridiculous getup.”  


    Tentative fingers grappled with buttons and clasps as Zuko helped her. Tears stung the corners of his eyes. Lately, it seemed like Katara’s emotions were a million places at once. She’d be affectionate, but balk when he mirrored her behaviors. She’d lost her passionate enthusiasm. Knowing the amount of pressure she was under made him feel guilty for their agreement.  


    “You don’t have to be here,” the tenderness in his voice was gone. “I’m not holding you captive.”  


    “Are you trying to get rid of me?” Katara tried to step away from his grasp but bumped into the table behind her. “Is this because of what happened at the party?”  


    “Katara!” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do you pay attention to anything I do? Or say? Holy shit, how are you so off-base?”  


    “What then, huh? You’re constantly trying to give me an out. As if I’m not the one who came up with this fucking plan! Of course I feel like you don’t want me here.”  
 

   “Is that really what you think is going on?” Zuko felt his frustrations growing. “I can tell you’re not happy here! It kills me to think I’m what’s making you so miserable.”  


    “It’s this entire fucking country!” She leaned on the table to steady herself as her panic returned. “This place fucking _sucks_ , Zuko. It’s warm all the time. The food is always so fucking spicy. I’m constantly dressed like a dying piece of coal. I miss furs. The way it feels to warm up after being out in the snow. Lights dancing across the sky after dark. This isn’t my fucking home; it’s yours. Nothing about this is mine!”  


    Silence fell as her words set in. Nothing was hers? The ceiling felt like it was about to crash down on Zuko’s head. Several reactions swirled in his thoughts. Pain rippled through the scar Azula’s lightning left. Deep breaths weren’t enough to fill his lungs.  


    “What about me? Us?” He whispered. “I thought I was yours.”  


    “Is there an us?” Katara said with a grunt as she removed the heavy piece from her shoulders. “I don’t know. We haven’t talked about it much…”  


    “Because you won’t let me!” Betrayal. Self-sabotage. “I’ve tried talking about it, Katara. And you run away or change the subject. You refuse to let me know what’s going on.”  


    “I don’t know what’s going on,” she gave an exasperated sigh. “Fucking a few times isn’t a relationship. And anything past that has gone hand in hand with your attempt at the throne. Everything’s an act.”  


    “You…you think I’ve been _acting_?” The pain in his voice filled her with regret. “Katara, I—fuck I don’t even know how to respond. It’s never been about the throne. Yeah, you agreed to help me but…I wouldn’t be doing things any differently.”  
 

   She had no response. Nothing she could say would take back mistakes she already made. Shivering in her thin silk slip, she realized how badly she’d been reading things since Zuko got injured. This was an argument between lovers.  


    Pushing past him, she took a seat on the bench by their bed. Nervous fingers plucked apart the braids Tavi spent hours on. Ends of braids hung in puffs as she tried to soothe the feeling of vulnerability. She missed feeling curls against her skin. Even her hair was imprisoned here.  


    “Do you have any idea how confused I’ve been?” He continued, sitting beside her. “You tell everyone in the entire fucking nation that we’re together when I’m unconscious. But then I wake up and you refuse to tell me how you feel.”  


    “Does it fucking matter?” Her tone was defensive. “One way or another, we’re getting married in a year. Feelings don’t matter. Strategy matters. We need to still be alive in a year or our personal feelings won’t make a difference.”  
 

   “So that’s your grand answer then?!” Zuko cried in frustration. “Do I just not matter? Securing the throne is more important than any potential happiness?”  


    “It’s not that, I just—“  


    “I love you, Katara,” he took her hand in his and stared intently into her eyes. “And I agreed to this because I want to be with you. But suddenly you’re acting like the throne is the only thing that matters.”  


    “Because I’m _afraid_ ,” her voice shook as she at him. Lifting her hand, she pressed her palm into his cheek. Her thumb grazed the area where scarred skin met healthy. “Every time we get close, you’re pulled out from under me. Ba Sing Se. Your fight with Azula. I just need to make sure you’re safe first.”  


    “Wait, so you’re…”  


    “I love you,” Katara offered a tearful smile. “But we can’t be together. Not right now. I need to be able to focus on what we’re doing without freaking out like I did tonight.”  


    “So you’re breaking up with me. Because you love me. Even though we were never really together. But we’re still getting married.”  


    “See, it’s simple,” she laughed as a tear slid down her face. The fingers on Zuko’s cheek curled into his skin as a sob broke through her lips.  


    They sat together in silence, neither willing to break what would be the last time they held each other. Hair still half-undone, Katara wept. Zuko held her as the stress of weeks escaped her body. Beyond her line of sight, he shed his own silent tears. A lightning bolt felt like weak static compared to the emotions running through him.  


    Katara always knew the best ways to hurt him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, sorry this took so long to update! Life got a little hectic for me last month, but I'm gonna hopefully have a better work pace now. So how bout that party, huh? I'm sure at least some of you knew I'd pull this. Leave your reactions in the comments!


	4. The Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, this took a minute. Short chapter update just so everyone can see what's on the horizon. I'm writing this without much of a story outline but the next update shouldn't take as long

    Cold morning air chilled Katara’s exposed skin. Hands fumbling with the air in search of a blanket, she realized she’d fallen asleep on the couch. Zuko’s fingers curled against her waist as he slept. With a small smile, she leaned in to kiss his cheek.

    Her lips halted above his skin when the events of the previous night returned to her. Panic. A hidden knife. Retaliation. Consequences. She almost lost him. In some ways, she did. Sadness rushed in to replace the fleeting moment of peace.

    Ending things with Zuko seemed like the right decision at the time. In the haze of panic it seemed like a logical way to handle the problem. Push him away for his own safety. Doubt, however, began to grow in the back of her mind as she realized what it meant. Things wouldn’t be the same now.

    Was it worth sacrificing these tender moments? Tears gathered in her eyes as she pulled back from him. The war was over, but she was still stuck in the same role. No matter how much she willed it, things hadn’t changed. She hadn’t changed.

    Frozen in place, she couldn’t bear to remove herself from his arms. Once she stood, things would be different. She wanted the moment to last as long as it could. The spell broke when the movement at his side woke Zuko.

    “Sorry,” he rushed, removing his hand from her side. The quick movement and his avoidance of eye contact told her all she needed to know.

    “I need to shower before Iroh gets here,” she said as she stood.

    The bathroom door slid shut behind her with more force than she intended. No amount of water could wash away the heaviness she felt. Alone with her thoughts, she cried as she scrubbed.

    Zuko stared at the ceiling as he listened to the running water. The way she rushed to be away from him made his chest ache. This was it then. Back to the emotionally distant Katara who only cares about their cause.

    He’d hoped to talk to her before his uncle arrived. With everything that happened the previous night, he wanted to make sure this was what she wanted. Decisions made during panic attacks could easily be taken back, but she seemed committed to it.

    It was a bittersweet morning. Her confession of love was overshadowed by the decision to remain platonic. The train of thought didn’t make complete sense to him, but he wasn’t going to argue with her. If this was what she needed, he could learn to accept it.  
    

* * *

  
    “You’re sure this is best?” Iroh asked the pair when they explained what they’d decided.

    There was a short silence. Zuko wasn’t sure. Too many conversations had been avoided, and now their relationship was stuck in limbo. Even if he could take it back, he didn’t know how to move forward with her.

    “Yes,” Katara answered, catching the frown growing on Zuko’s face. He’d barely spoken to her all morning and it seemed his silent treatment was continuing. “It’s safer this way. Less to lose.”

   Iroh considered the split couple. Both of their body language screamed regret. Their eyes played a game of tag wherein both tried to catch the others gaze but were convinced they were being ignored. For a moment he debated pressing the matter, but then thought better of it.

    If the pair did become rulers of the Fire Nation, they would be bound together indefinitely. They would have to learn to communicate on their own. Without his intrusions. All he could do now was try to help them arrive to the necessary conclusion on their own.

    “I see,” he sighed. “So long as you do not let this divide you. Remember who the enemy is.”

    “At this point I’m assuming our enemy includes half of the nobility?” Zuko asked with a dry laugh.

    “Last night was an unfortunate misstep,” Iroh agreed. “But not at the fault of anyone in this room. Guards will be receiving additional training.”

    “How much damage did I do?” Katara asked quietly.

    “Not as much as you might think. There will always be some level of dissent given the situation. However, there are a good few military families who admire your ability to act quickly and come prepared.”

    “So it wasn’t a total travesty?” Katara’s face brightened.

    “It depends on whose approval you were after. You’ll have to work harder for those who think you’re a classless water tribe peasant. But there are those in the palace who value an outsider willing to protect the throne at the expense of a cancelled dinner party.”  
 

   The room became less stiff as the conversation continued. With Iroh there to bridge the gap, the two became used to their new normal. There were moments where Zuko’s words stung or Katara’s reaction seemed cold, but they were moving forward.

    “Wait—“ Zuko paused. “How will we explain our sudden distance? People will notice if we’re suddenly sleeping in different rooms. That could leave us open to all sorts of attacks.”

    “We should invite Toph to visit!”

    Katara’s idea was both practical and selfish. It would benefit everyone, but her biggest motivation was loneliness. She missed having friends. Real friends. Tavi was wonderful, but at the end of the day she was still a subject of the Fire Nation. Toph had no affiliations and no respect for fancy titles.

    “She could do more for security than an increase in patrols or training,” Katara reasoned. “And she and Tavi can help me navigate palace etiquette.”

    _Like not stabbing someone at a dinner party._

    “You miss your friends,” Zuko said softly. The rush of guilt knocked the air out of him. It was his fault she was so alone. Maybe that was really why she wanted to end things.

    “I know seeing Sokka or Aang would be too precarious right now. But there’s no reason to not invite Toph and maybe even Suki.”

    “You need a secure team,” Iroh nodded, running his fingers through his beard. “Things will be much easier, and less stressful, if it no longer feels like the two of you against the world.”

    Adrenaline coursed through Katara’s veins. Unable to write for fear of letters being intercepted, this would be her first time seeing her friends in months. There was a lot to catch up on. Would they be upset with her for abandoning Team Avatar without so much as a goodbye?


End file.
